Saturday, November 13, 2010

Series: Deep Down In My Thoughts 1.1



Sometimes, I just want to walk through life blind, not knowing what will happen next, although I'm terrified at what will happen. I've been taught my whole life that it's expected of me to finish school, get a good career, get married, and start a family but I don't know if that's what I want.

I sound like a hypocrite,
 but on the other hand,

 finishing school is what I want, getting a good career - in my hand, becoming a dermatologist is what I want - I think . And obviously, falling in love is what I want the most. It's just that, I'm scared of what my will happen in the process of achieving my goals, will I become homeless? a addict of some sort? a mess? heartbroken? will I fail and drop out of medical school, or not get in at all? I understand that I will never know until I try but I just don't want to see myself get hurt and disappoint the people in my life that have such high expectations for me, like I've done so many times already. I'm selfish to say this but, I only want good things to happen to me, I don't ever want to fail school, or get my heart broken.

I don't know what I want ...

Quote of the day ;
they tell me to be myself, but I don't know who I am .
-bianca so 

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